If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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