I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
