First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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