I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
