just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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