Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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