Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
