What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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