I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
