What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
