girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
