If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
