Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
