I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
