you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
