I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
