Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
