are you still at the devil's house?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
