ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
