I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
