maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
