i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
