i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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