just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You ate ashes out of my bong
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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