I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
