This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
