My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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