is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
