She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We were destined to go to rehab together
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
