We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
birth control should be required to get into college
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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