That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
