After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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