my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
