The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
