When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
