Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Can I color on your dick again?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
