is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
