I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
