I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
