They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
