Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
