Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
