another moral hangover. fuck.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I want her autograph on my taint
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
