My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
