Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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