It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
