how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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