IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
