Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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