george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
