So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
